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I leaned in the truck window this afternoon and heard the radio report that a crocodile was found loose on an Abu Dhabi plane. It wasn't the first time crocs have roamed the airy aisles. Scary.
You can't swat a crocodile with a rolled up newspaper. We're not allowed to carry guns on planes, so I don't know what I'd do if I spotted a croc lunging at me. I have some big knives and heavy clubs, but they're banned aboard. Last time I flew I noticed chainsaws are disallowed as well. Bottom line: Be afraid if you've brought likely prey on board. Leave the wildebeest at home when you fly.
One of the nurses from "ER" starred in a film I didn't see about snakes on a plane. If I had a hammer, I'd bludgeon any snake that came my inflight way, but I believe we can't have them in our carry-on bags. Lacking a hammer, I'd make do with the closest small person. Loop a belt around the neck and that pint-sized fellow can be slammed to good effect.
I don't care what's on a plane as long as it's not loose, and that includes the flu or any highly communicable malady. It's a matter of personal health. Sick people shouldn't fly, especially if they're sneezing or coughing. They're worse than snakes and crocodiles. I'd like to whack them with midgets, too.
Imagine my horror to discover an ex-girlfriend in the aisle seat one row up.
I'm terrified of spilling juice on my trousers on a plane. If you're going to spill something, you're better off if you're standing, so always stand when drinking, even on a plane.
