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BACKROADS

I can't talk about it.
Articles Posted: 154  Links Seeded: 1150
Member Since: 4/2007  Last Seen: 5/15/2012

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Full Potential

Wed Feb 1, 2012 8:06 PM EST
home-garden, improvement, potential, betterment, fixed-up
By backroads

Live Poll

What personal improvement hauled in the ladies?

View Results
  • 174877
    Better hair
    0%
  • 174878
    Mighty body
    50%
  • 174879
    Lotsa money
    50%

VoteTotal Votes: 4

Let's see -- an eye patch, a Hitler comb-over or one of those characters with gel. I cannot decide.

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Apparently, I need to drink Red Bull in order to realize my full potential. My home improvements will come to naught if I don't bring in Roger, Tom, Richard and Norm from "This Old House."

I've ample hair but scantily clad happy young women won't find me attractive unless I manage to grow even more. Where will I locate it? I'm satisfied with my hairline. Something masking the gray promises a similar pay-out but I don't want the stuff running down the back of my neck while I'm sweating on the tennis court with a happy young woman.

I'll be happier if I entangle myself with one of those payday loan outfits.

My happiness would be complete if I spent money at one of any number of chain restaurants.

Should I buy an exercise machine, here come the happy young women. Should I quaff courvoisier, the same appears true. I wonder whether it tastes better than Red Bull.

 

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Published to:

  • backroads's Column, All of Newsvine
  • Groups: Hermits 'n Stuff
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  • Public Discussion (8)
backroads

Ponder, ponder.

  • 2 votes
Reply#1 - Wed Feb 1, 2012 8:08 PM EST
politicalcenter

Sweet Jesus! How the hair doth grow in weird places, like ears. Most of my hair lost on top has found somewhere to emerge. Now it needs to be resodded. Do they still do this? Does it matter where the hair is from?

  • 2 votes
Reply#2 - Wed Feb 1, 2012 10:32 PM EST
backroads

Where it comes from matters little. Does it attract happy women?

  • 1 vote
#2.1 - Wed Feb 1, 2012 10:40 PM EST
politicalcenter

I have not attracted happy women in years. You can start with those closest to me and move outward. Think I need to change my environment.

First, open up a bar. Second, drink like the alcoholics closest to me. Third, maintain a better balance on life. For example, smoke more cigars and fewer cigarettes. Eat more deserts and fewer salads. Raise, not lower, my cholesterol. Increase, not decrease my weight.

If these tried and true changes do not manage to attract happy women again, then I guess I will have to move to Tahiti or some other island country where the climate is great, the people do not care if they ride in expensive cars, and money is better saved because there is nothing else to do with it.

    #2.2 - Thu Feb 2, 2012 7:10 AM EST
    backroads

    You better get some hair transplanted onto your noggin and quaff that courvoisier. And pronto. You'll never reach your full potential.

    • 1 vote
    #2.3 - Thu Feb 2, 2012 7:22 AM EST
    Reply
    Mike of the North

    A little light heartedness from the endless political rantings of Newsvine, thank you. It's odd what attracts women at times, or what doesn't. I see 'odd couples' every day and you wonder how he got her or she got him.

    I'll tell you one things that worked for me better than anything else though... A wedding ring. Never took one up on an invite but sometimes after 3 yrs of divorce I feel like I'd have better luck if I put the ring back on! Sometimes we just what what we think we can't have so I guess the key is to appear unattainable?

    • 1 vote
    Reply#3 - Thu Feb 2, 2012 1:50 AM EST
    politicalcenter

    Mike - Sadly, adultery is rampant in the North. Perhaps this is because there is no interest in having anything other than sex. But I feel that it is really the thrill of getting caught, and the way some people feel about hurting others. They like the fact that the woman or man is cheating. It makes them feel good. They feel especially good if they are hurting as many others as possible. The spouse. The children. The relatives.

    But this article is about happy women. Those who go after a married man would seem to be unhappy. But maybe not. Maybe they are happy.

    I would not know.

      #3.1 - Thu Feb 2, 2012 7:15 AM EST
      backroads

      Grab your mirrors and check for patches to apply your hair replacement. Get a payday loan.

        #3.2 - Thu Feb 2, 2012 7:25 AM EST
        Reply
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